Comments on: Jokes about the French (and More Wanted)

By: Adam

Adam — Fri, 12 Sep 2003 12:14:17 +0000

Why is it necessary for the french to carry shit around in their wallets?
Because their law requires them to carry at least on form of id

By: John Moore (Useful Fools)

John Moore (Useful Fools) — Tue, 09 Sep 2003 17:39:31 +0000

I wonder why the Europeans have such a problem with humor. This particular article is about jokes about the French. Jokes about nationalities are not exactly unusual.

But we are rather displeased with the French because they were not reacting on matters of principle but rather were actively obstructing our efforts and propping up a vicious dictatorship because of money. Furthermore they blackmailed the Turks to oppose us, which no doubt has cost American lives.

Besides, I think saving France’s bacon from the Germans in both WW-I and WW-II sort of makes up for the (welcome) help of the French over 200 years ago. Of course, in order to do so in WW-II, we had to sink the French fleet, which was fighting for the Germans! But hey, that was pretty simple to do. Hence the joke about how to find the French fleet.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Sep 2003 17:32:57 +0000

The French where instrumental in the US achieving independence, you shouldn’t forget that. Its a little sad to react so strongly to the French exercising their right to object to the crazy ideas of a Texan half wit. And lets face it, even the most jingoistic patriot must now have a sneaking suspicion that George really did screw things up after all

By: henerz

henerz — Sun, 24 Aug 2003 09:56:17 +0000

whats the definition of confusion?
fathers day in paris

By: RPC

RPC — Thu, 31 Jul 2003 17:18:41 +0000

JULY 22, 2003 – NEWSFLASH

8:25am
Subject: CNN Breaking News
– Unconfirmed reports that the Eiffel Tower is burining in Paris.

11:04am
As a follow up to this morning’s CNN News Break . . . France has pre-emptively surrendered. A government spokesman announced they are just waiting to find out exactly whom they are surrendering to . . .

3:26pm
A French press spokesperson acknowledged that France had officially surrendered to a box full of television equipment . . . . terms of surrender were not disclosed . . .
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/07/22/eiffel.tower/index.html

By: John Moore (Useful Fools)

John Moore (Useful Fools) — Fri, 18 Jul 2003 20:56:56 +0000

Dear Frenchwoman, we don’t hate all the French. I hope that the jokes offend anti-american French, whom you are not. Other than that, many of them are actually funny. Many are classic forms, where you can replace the word “french” or “france” with any ethnic group or nation.

I lived in Paris during the first gulf war. Most French people were very nice to us and we greatly enjoyed the experience (and the food!).

But… the French elected Chirac and hence are collectively responsible for his actions. However, I recognize that a number of French (a minority it appears) still have reasonable views about America and world affairs. Unfortunately, it is a minority!

I am sorry you were offended by the jokes. As I said, they are meant as humor for americans and to offend the anti-american french, for whom I have nothing but loathing.

By: Emmanuelle

Emmanuelle — Wed, 09 Jul 2003 15:30:51 +0000

I am amazed to see that you people are still up with a revenge against the French just because this stupid ass of Jacques Chirac is our President….Do all Americans judge books by their covers ? I hope not for I refuse to judge the Americans acording to their President G.W Bush or else I would have a very bad opinion…Wake up people they are not 300 million stupid americans and they are NOT 60 million stupid french people…..but if it comfortable for you to hit on someone let it be the French….Just bear in mind before you INSULT ALL of us that we are also linked to Americans….My son is American so should he Hate me for his mother is French ! GROW UP !
Emmanuelle a french woman that LOVES INTELLIGENT AMERICANS

By: Steve List

Steve List — Thu, 12 Jun 2003 06:56:36 +0000

What do you call a French marathon runner?
A well trained solider

By: John Moore (Useful Fools)

John Moore (Useful Fools) — Fri, 06 Jun 2003 15:40:18 +0000

As you can see by the previous message, the French are also pretty poor at creating jokes.

By: fuck u

fuck u — Thu, 05 Jun 2003 20:48:43 +0000

american joke:
In america a family as been sauvagely murderd FBI come and investigate.Few minutes later a boy come but the FBI agent say
dont come it is not for u
the boy answer:yes i no i have murderd them
whate?why?
because they had chocolate chips macadamia nut britle ice cream and they did not wanted to give some to me.
and?
so i hae done the same thing that i saw on TV.
which horible movie have u seen?
I didn’t wath a movie, i did the same things that i saw on fox news,and as i am american i took it.
???
yes when an american wants something,he fuck evribody heads and he took it

By: american dude

american dude — Tue, 03 Jun 2003 02:41:58 +0000

why did paris plant trees on the side of the road??? So the nazis could walk in the shade!

By: g

Fri, 30 May 2003 05:05:33 +0000

Why are the French so multilingual?

Because they never know who will occupy their country 5 years down the road.

By: yeehah

yeehah — Mon, 26 May 2003 22:50:07 +0000

The French and German governments are putting plans together for a ‘European’ army to protect the interests of a united Europe.
The French have taken it beyond the discussion stage by awarding contracts for the supply of equipment this army will need.
ACME pole Co. have won the contract for the supply of 150,000 75cm wooden sticks and the contract for 150,000 little white flags will be awarded shortly.

By: Tom

Tom — Sat, 17 May 2003 02:39:35 +0000

Q: why are the French afraid of soap?
A1: because if they drop it the Germans will fuck them again
A2: they have never seen it before

By: Tom

Tom — Sat, 17 May 2003 02:39:18 +0000

Q: why are the French afraid of soap?
A1: because if they drop it the Germans will fuck them again
A2: they have never seen it before

By: Jordan

Jordan — Fri, 16 May 2003 03:48:56 +0000

French military rifle for sale:
MAS 1936 7.5mm bolt-action rifle. WWII Vintage. Must Sell! Serious inqueries only. $800 or best offer.
Excellent condition, never been fired, only dropped once.

By: erika

erika — Mon, 12 May 2003 20:59:51 +0000

If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”
–Samuel Adams
Not a french joke, but I thought it was appropriate.

You know, I would call the french scumbags but that would be a disservice to bags filled with scum.
–Dennis Miller

By: barry

barry — Sat, 10 May 2003 02:19:06 +0000

In among the jokes you have a post from “a frenchman’.
I read this post very carefully and I must say that I was amazed.
How DO you type with your hands up ?????

By: Gray

Gray — Thu, 08 May 2003 22:22:32 +0000

there is a new movie coming out.
it’s called: Dumb, Dumber, And French

By: phil

phil — Tue, 06 May 2003 23:23:28 +0000

Tony Blair goes to Washington to meet George Bush. Halfway through a motorcade Tony leans over to George and says “I desperately need to relieve myself”
“No problem” says George and leans over to whisper in the drivers ear. The car screeches to a halt outside an impressive building and the President leads the Prime Minister inside.
Inside the doors there is a large marble hall with a huge fountain and tapestries hanging on the walls. George Bush unzips himself and relieves himself on the floor, Tony follows suit.
When he is finished Goerge walks over to the fountain and washes his hands, drying them on the tapestries. Tony again copies the President.
“This is a very impressive place” says Tony “What do we do now?”
“Anything you like” replies the President “Its the French Embassy”