Saddam Captured – Contest
Posted By John Moore on December 14, 2003
Okay… here’s a contest… now that Saddam has been captured, we need a list of the Top Ten reasons Saddam should get the death penalty. These are joke reasons (the real reasons are obvious and not funny).
Here’s the list so far:
- (RK) So the French can’t nominate him for the Nobel Peace Prize.
- (erikbert)To prevent him from playing golf in Florida with OJ
- (Mark L) So Hillary Clinton won’t be able to trade a pardon for the [Saddam's money] if she gets elected President.
- (Kimberly)So that Mumia Abu Jamal can retain his status as the most treasured political prisoner of the left-wing moonbats.
- (Dan Clark)Because the French are against it.
- (Dodd) That beard!
- (jcrue) Because an interview with Barbara Walters would be cruel and unusual punishment.
- (Watcher) So we don’t have to listen to Larry King asking Saddam what his favorite color is.
- (Ryan) It’s been a while since we had a good hangin’, and my hangin’ rope’s gettin’ dusty.
- (Rob Bernard) Uday and Qusay are feeling lonely.
- Because Allah needs more *virgins for newly arriving suicide bombers.
- (K Beil)To keep the left busy with a new cospiracy theory: Bush used a double to fool us into thinking Saddam was captured and had to murder him to hide the evidence.
That beard!
HEADLINE OF THE YEAR
SADDAM CAPTURED HIDING IN HOLE NEAR TIKRIT. P.S.: Ah, synchronicity! P.P.S.: John Moore is collecting the Top Ten Reasons Saddam…
Uday and Qusay are feeling lonely.
So we don’t have to listen to Larry King asking Saddam what his favorite color is.
To ensure that Hillary Clinton won’t be able to trade a pardon for the remainder of the money Saddam has hidden in Swiss and Cayman banks in the unlikely event that she gets elected President.
SH should get the death penalty because an interview with Barbara Walters would be cruel and unusual punishment. . .
Because the French are against it.
Because George Galloway has too many friends already.
Did you see his outfit? That’s a capital offence.
Saddam should be executed so that Mumia Abu Jamal can retain his status as the most treasured political prisoner of the left-wing moonbats. I don’t think the “Free Mumia” crowd will appreciate the possibility of a new
“political prisoner” who is more famous and more dangerous than their beloved Mumia.
Why, if all the lefties start supporting the “Free Saddam” campaign, Mumia and all his idiot “Africa” supporters might slide into *gasp* obscurity! The day might come when NO ONE CARES what Mumia thinks about anything. A fate WORSE than death for the Mumia supporters!
Because hanging game helps tenderize it.
Because we are afraid that the kids will think he is Santa Claus.
To keep him from running for Senator from New York when that seat opens up in 2006.
So that he doesn’t have a cameo appearance in the Showtime smear-job movie sequel to “The Reagans” titled, “The Bushes”.
Because Allah needs more *virgins for newly arriving suicide bombers.
To prevent him from playing golf in Florida with OJ.
We can get the Iraqis to pay for the rebuilding of Iraq by selling them lottery tickets – $10 a chance. Winner gets to pull the switch.
To keep the left busy with a new cospiracy theory: Bush used a double to fool us into thinking Saddam was captured and had to murder him to hide the evidence.
To aide Kim Jung Il in obtaining that most sought after #1 status on the ‘Look at Me!’ Look at me, oh why wont they look at me?’LIST.
So he won’t be confused with Jerry Garcia in prison.
So CBS won’t be tempted to turn to him when Dan Rather retires.
It’s been a while since we had a good hangin’, and my hangin’ rope’s gettin’ dusty.
Because he’s too ugly for humanity.